Saturday, 3 March 2012


Those of you who know me will know that I'm rather partial to a glass of wine or a pint of cider or two or ten. Those same people will probably know that I am far more partial to drinking said alcohol in pubs or in houses while enjoying the company of friends than I am to being deafened and forced to dance in claustrophobic clubs full of dubious smells and scantily clad females.
However, as a fresher in Exeter, it became apparent to me that going to clubs is invariably part of the student experience. We embrace our freedom and ability to legally drink by getting monstrously car-parked and dancing like fools on the sticky floors of Exeter's finest drinking establishments, while wearing whatever ridiculous clothing that the fancy-dress theme requires (never will I forget staggering off to Timepiece in Spongebob Squarepants pyjamas). And I enjoyed it. It was all for fun and laughs, and noone took it seriously in the slightest.
But clubbing in Ottawa is different. I was discussing this with a girl in one of my classes who was on exchange in Exeter last year, and she agrees. Going to clubs in Exeter is for fun. You go to enjoy being young and be ridiculous. But here, it all seems to be for show. There is no room for people who want to sing along to the songs and dance badly. You either have to be able to dance, and be admired by all around, or grind terrifyingly on anyone and everyone around you. And while I've learned to accept and embrace this style of dancing to a certain extent, I cannot condone blatant dry-humping in public. If I see one more girl leaning forward and rubbing her arse against some sleazy guy's crotch as he eyes her up like she's his whore, I might just throw up. Everything in clubs here is just so sexualised. The guys are there to ogle girls and try and score. The girls are there to show that they can dress in little clothing and dance like whores and can be valuable to men. I have no problem with a woman's right to dance and wear whatever clothes she chooses, but these girls are clearly crying out for sexual validation, and it's sickening. I want to dance because it can be fun and not too serious. I don't want to be squashed in the middle of some giant orgy.
This has turned into a bit of an incomprehensible ramble, but I'm in something of an exasperated mood, and I've been out for the past two nights, and it's looking likely that I'll be dragged out again tonight, and, quite frankly, I cannot be bothered. I miss Arena, where everyone's there to have a good time, and where the success of a night isn't measured by how many people judged you to be worthy enough of pressing their sticky against, but by how many road signs you managed to steal on the walk home.
So frankly, Canadians, you need to lighten up. Stop caring about how you're presenting yourself to the opposite sex, and start having fun. The chances are that if you meet a member of the opposite sex on the dancefloor of a bar or club, they're going to be nothing more than a one night stand. The likelihood of meeting someone with whom you actually have something in common aside from a fear of actual conversation is slim, so just lighten up. If you're looking for your soulmate in a club, then you seriously need to reassess your life. Save your stripper dancing for music videos, put on a ridiculous costume and learn the beauty of "big fish, little fish, cardboard box". Please.

No comments:

Post a Comment